nothing...

it has been a while since i updated this blog..nak tulis dlm omputeh la pulak..tukar selera..fatrah xm nih..perkasa english skett..buat bekal tyme jawab paper nanti..kihh333
xde modal sbnrnya nk tulis apa..tp since dh lama x update, tgk member update dia punya, terdetik kat kotak minda aku, nk update gak la blog..lama dh bersarang..
hari2 routine biase je kehidupan aku..tp this week most of my time is in the home..in my room..everybody has been hibernated since it's examination weeks..but i'm suppose, i can used a brief walk along mediterrean sea after i finish all the papers..i'm longing to see the beach..kih33.. XP

it has been a stressedful week..i'm suffered from grieveness and loneliness..such a diseased...
i'm longing for ice cream..kih33..huh purposeless post..
nothing special happens in my daily routine..the same old routine, i wish for something to happen..extraordinary things..erm like..i supposed i'm too old to dream such things to happen..like the old fairy tales..seems only a story, told from generation to generation..a sacred lies..

i've never thought that life could be this lonely..alone by yourself..to old to move forward..to ashamed to ask for shelter..to weak to seek for joy..mumbling by myself again..*lalala*
this happen when you're in examination mode..all things that occurs seem unreasonable yet so alive..

to make this post a little bit beneficial..i supposed i should add some seasoning to make it more dashing and mouth-watering dishes..
oh, i remembered something..it's so hard to find a good friend that always stand by your side and always hear what you want to say and always there whenever you need someone to share thoughts..i've been thinking that it is a little bit lonely when there is nobody to talk to about your problems..that is why i'm suppose people (girls) tend to find "adams" to share thoughts..i'm not sure about boys because boys are different from girls..they have different views about how they see things..

but the point here that if you tend to find a good friend..you yourself must be a good friend towards others first..never expect someone to be good to you unless you start it first..world is full of surprises that it seem to have surprised me every single moment..
how to become a good friend..i'm lookin forward for that..it is not the best things to turn for "adams" whenever you feel lonely..as i remembered reading an article about a couple in iluvislam.com this morning...he feels lonely and then he turn out to seek for soulmate that can share his loneliness..but at the end he know what he has been doing is wrong, although their relationship based on "islamic" as they assumed but there is no legal relationship in islam until you are married to each other..the end~

and seek for that love..by which the love for Him is the only pure love..that can only be gain by pure heart and sacred soul..seek for that love, then you find that life is not that lonely~

is it real..?

yeah..it's love indeed..but is it real...?

fall in love..
have u ever fall in love...?

love is something that can't be describe through words..

love..ada apa dengan cinta...?

tanya padaku, sah xtau apa2..
percaya x, kalau aku katakan, yg aku tak pernah bercinta..jatuh cinta...errr...out of question..
aku selalu je dengar, couple ni haram..ya, mmg Islam mengharamkan couple sblm kahwin..aku yakin ramai je yg tahu, tapi kdg2 dorg xboleh nk terima..
even kalau aku di tempat dorang pun, belum tentu aku dapat accept it and terus break up dgn pasangan aku..
it's hard to accept something that u treasure so much in your life...bayangkan losing someone that u love..

tapi penahkah terpikir,

bagaimana kalau jejaka/i itu bukanlah jodoh kamu yg sebenarnya...

bagaimana jika jejaka/i itu hanyalah mainan usia remajamu saja...

bagaimana jika jejaka/i itu di masa hadapan bukanlah orang yang bakal mengisi hidupmu...

pernahkah terpikir,
usia remajamu dihabiskan dengan insan yang sebenarnya bukan ditakdirkan milikmu..

bayangkan,
betapa banyak kasih sayangmu yg telah dicurahkan kepada insan yang sebenarnya bukanlah
insan yang bakal melayari bahtera rumah tangga bersamamu kelak..

love is something to be appreciate not to be waste..love the nature, u gain the heart

aku tahu betapa indah, bila dicintai dan mencintai seseorang...
betapa aku berharap diri ini dicintai dan mencintai seseorang, tapi perasaan ini hanyalah akan menjadi satu racun, jika cinta yang disalurkan bukanlah milik aku yg sebenarnya...

bersabarlah kawan...
janji Allah itu benar...

till next time, stay tune on...bk@tv
kih3

yup, it is...!

                       life is like a ladybird.come nowhere.and be somewhere.it's like my life.

oh my life..hari ni aku kena marah dengan doktor...sbb..aku x prepare before jumpa dia hri ni..huhu..padan muka aku..saper suh kau x redi betul2 dulu before jumpa doktor tuh...

aku mmg akui kesalahan aku..aku patut prepare dlu..jgn main copy paste je material tuh..

"ha amik kau...!"

melimpah ruah soalan doktor tanya aku..aku pulak, 

"errr...."
"aaaa..."
"i don't knoe..."

i deserve this humiliation..in front of those ppl, huh! jatuh saham aku..kih3
tp xpe la, dorang pun kena marah gak..kih3

kalau sebelum ni, aku xpenah kena marah, wlpn aku x prepare apa2 sblm jumpa doktor, main copy paste dr internet jek...sebelum ni dpt layanan baik dr doktor, org msia kan..tp kali ni...huhu..pengajaran buat aku..lain kali kena prepare before jumpa doktor..

bercakap pasal studi ni, teringat aku ade sorg ustaz ni penah kasi tau, sistem pendidikan kat msia skrg ni bukanlah mementingkan ilmu, tp mementingkan peperiksaan..asal dpt keputusan cemerlang, xkisah student nak jadi apa, asalkan akademik ok, then it's okay..
bila ustaz tu cakap cam tu, aku pun terpikir, aku pun cam tu, dalam otak studi-studi..

kenapa..?
sebab nak lulus dengan cemerlang, lepas ni dpt masuk uni, dapat pegi oversea..bla..bla..

tgk insiden hr ni, xkan jadi cam ni kalau aku anggap ilmu for life, bukan semata-mata utk assignment..akn timbul rasa tanggungjawab dlm diri aku utk do some research, not just copy paste from the internet..huhu..*insap*

kenyataannya, xde guna studi semata-mata utk xm, sbb lps ni akan lupa, bila dah abis xm, ilmu yg kau belajar sumer dah dicurahkan atas ketas peksa..jadi apa lg yg tinggal...

bayangkan out there, berapa ramai yg berfikiran cam aku, studi sbb nk lulus xm...berapa ramai yg benar-benar ikhlas belajar, sbb nak dpt ilmu, bukan untuk lulus xm...berapa ramai yg benar-benar ikhlas kerana Allah taala..

aku terpikir, kini baru aku tahu, hidup ini bukanlah semata-mata untuk xm, ilmu tu bukan hanya pada kertas peperiksaan, bila dah abis xm, xberguna lagi..bukan!

it's something u live with it...

it's something u treasure and use in everydays life...

oh..auch!

xm oh xm..

satu perkataan keramat bagi yg bergelar pelajar..xm dah dekat, studi...wallahua'lam..tapi get up girl!! awak datang sni utk belajar..act accordingly

what's your priority?

have u ever question yourself what's ur purpose of coming here..hehe

priority aku datang sini studi..cakap pasal studi ni. rasa nk kongsi sket psl....

hri tu aku studi pasal diabetes..lately i was wondering, me myself might be a pre-diabetic patient. i suppose sbb aku suka makan manis..air gas bertong2 teguk, masak slalu jek suka add gula, padahal dah ok rasanya, well don't blame me, i'm a kelantanese..kih3

a fact that i learn these years, old generation of kelantanese tend to add more and more sugar into their cooking, but those young ones, keep their sugar level below sugary, acting more responsible avoiding diabetic problems..people always tend to think that kelantanese slalu masak masakan manis2..but the truth is not all kelantanese, masak manis ye..hi3..sbb aku slalu je masak tawar, xde rasa..and i'm a kelantanese..*peace*

Diabetes melitus atau nama femos dia kencing manis. teringat aku pd satu cerita ni, ada sorg pak cik pegi hospital, dia ni ade penyakit kencing manis. dia pun daftar la apa sumer ikut procedur nk check up apa sumer la, tunggu punya tunggu, x kunjung tiba jgk turn dia, dia dh mula fed up, tiba-tiba...dgr bunyi siren ambulan bw satu patient ni, tp yg menghairankan pak cik tu, kenapa mamat tu dpt masuk dulu drpd dia, padahal dia dh lama tunggu..pak cik tu pun tanya nurse, 

"cik, orang tu sakit apa,knp dia masuk dulu?pakcik dah lama tunggu ni.."

nurse jawab, "oh tu kecemasan.."

"owh, rupanya kecingmasam(kecemasan) lebih teruk daripada kecing manis.."       *commercial break jap*

kecing manis atau dikenali sbg diabetes mellitus adalah satu penyakit gangguan kesihatan di mana kadar gula dalam darah seseorang jadi tinggi sbb gula dalam darah x dapat digunakan tubuh.

Org yg sihat, karbohidrat dalam makanan yg dimakan akn convert jadi glucose yang akan distribute ke seluruh sel tubuh untuk tukar jd tenaga dengan bantuan insulin. Tapi bagi diabetic patient, glucose susah nak masuk dalam sel sbb sedikit atau xde insulin dalam tubuh. Akibatnya kadar glucose dalam darah jadi tinggi. kencing manis ni terjadi sbb insulin defiency bak kata lecturer ri tu..

Ada dua jenis diabetes mellitus,

DM type 1 : tubuh kekurangan hormon insulin atau istilahnya Insulin Dependent Diabetes Mellitus (IDDM) dan 

DM type 2 : hormon insulin dalam tubuh tidak dapat berfungsi dengan baik atau istilahnya Non-Insulin Dependent Diabetes Mellitus (NIDDM).

Antara symptom yg biasa kita boleh tengok kalau kena diabetes mellitus, 

• slalu dahaga
• slalu rasa nk buang air kecil
• letih dan lemah
• penglihatan jd kabur
• sakit pd bahgian abdomen
• muntah2, rasa loya
• turun berat badan atau tetiba naik mendadak
• jangkitan pd kulit sperti jerawat 
• susah nk sembuh bila luka
• kulit jd dry scaly
• rasa kebas kt jari dan ibu jari kaki
• heart rate tinggi
• slalu sakit kepala
  
• nervousness
• dan lain2 lagi

cara nk prevent slalu banyakkan exercise dan kawal pemakanan seharian..cara terbaik adalah puasa...*thumbs up*

ok la dah panjang, stop luh..to be continue

what about it...?

have u ever thought, what life might be if u ever choose those paths...?

have u ever wonder, what u might encounter through journey of if-that-road-is-taken...?

have u ever imagine, what are u going to be if u took those steps...?

have u and have u..bla..bla...lately i've been wondering what my life would be if i don't choose the paths that i am right now..and i can see how myself grow up to be someone else i called somebody. i've never thought that i've come this far..i'm 22 now and my life is differ from back then..apa aku mengarut ni..@#$%!??

actually aku out of idea, but hah! it has been ages since i updated this page...gamble je this evening, like always..gamble is the first word in my dictionary thought  xP

susah betul nk constant menulis ni..huh guess it's not in my blood..of course it isn't, it's in your brain da...just short commercial break..*layan*

hari ni cam biasa pergi kuliah, balik kuliah..like always, my boring routine..but it's kind scary, when i recalled those moments..huh, *secret*

post kali ni aku rasa cam nk cakap pasal ermm..

"kenapa aku belajar...?"

satu petang, terdetik di hati aku, apa matlamat aku belajar sebenarnya. and it kept haunting myself. i've been asking myself the same questions..things have become complicated as it seems as simple as abc at first but yet so tangle in between..huh..

kenapa aku belajar...? the answer is obvious but that answer doesn't seem to satisfy myself.

aku belajar sebab nak jadi pandai..

aku belajar sebab nak jadi doktor..

aku belajar sebab aku tak tahu..

aku belajar sebab...bla..bla...

sebab2 yg common..tp betul ke sebab tu je kau belajar..??

kau belajar untuk islam...!

apa aku dah buat untuk islam..???

sebenarnya dah banyak yg aku belajar, tp banyak mana la yang aku gunakan untuk agama aku, Islam..takat mana je sumbangan aku untuk Islam..aku mengaku aku Islam tapi...

enti muslimah..? (awak muslim..?)

aiwah (ya)

alhamdulillah, ana bardu...(alhamdulillah. saya jugak)

isme eh? (nama apa?)

ana nur.. (saya nur)

kadang-kadang aku tertanya-tanya, betul ke jalan yg aku pilih ni..sekarang aku yakin..yakin dengan keputusanku..yakin dengan jalan ini..ya alhamdulillah...! alhamdulillah i'm a muslim!

sejak dalam perut mama, keluar-keluar je, dah muslim, tapi muslim pada surat beranak je, bila dah besar sket, muslim pada i/c, skrg zaman dah moden sket guna mykad..muslim pd mykad...tapi have ever wonder non muslim yg convert to Islam, those people choose to be muslim..not by birth nor by identity card or what so ever, but it is their own decision..they choose islam, but we've been chosen to be muslim..pernahkah kita bersyukur...? to be frank, have we ever thought of this..to tell u the truth, i've never thought of this till one day, a friend of mine, give tazkirah as one of activities in our SC (smart circle)..it is really a good reminder..i'm glad i attend sc..he3..credit to PERUBATAN..promote PERUBATAN jap..

ok la dah panjang..stop luh..till next time stay tune..kih3

you!! go down...!!!

oh it is so peaceful. i wish i had those feeling XD

it's hard to deal with human's feeling, my feeeling. and it also so hard to manage my own life. life can be so full of surprises and griefness. and at the end, i'm better off to keep quiet and do nothing. and take a brief rest.

i fail to control my own feeling. and tend to fall into pieces. i'm getting stress out..!!

there is too many responsibilities held upon me, yet i didn't do it well, i ended up feeling guilty over everything. i had a mess mind at the very moment. feeling unsecured and sad at the same time. the study..huh..out of question~

dealing with something is so annoyed sometimes, but it makes me realise the crucial thing here, that i have to learn and live with it. there is no more excuses for those who wish to success in their life.

life is about making sacrifice in order to maintain balance to the world. no more procastination.

procastination is making me suffer from stress. and see how procastination makes my life miserable. too many works and too many thingy i wish i have done, but the truth is, there is so many things that i fail to accomplish.

and now, my innerself is making mess..life becomes so messy. and so unstable. it affects my daily life. but as usual my sleep is unaffected.

procastination, go away from my life...!!!

better off without you...oh procastination...!!!

sayonara, procastination....~

teori lagi...~

nak update blog jap..alhamdulillah exam dah abes..tp ni baru mid..final bakal kembali..huh scariee~

xde idea nk tulis pasal apa sebenarnya ni...gamble je malam ni...belasah la ko...!!

jalan2 surf situ surf sini..jumpa macam2 ragam kehidupan aalam ciber ni..perbagai rentak dan nada..ada yg cam tu ada yg camni..apa2 pum semua adalah the best in their own rhythms..aku dengan style aku..jalan2 timba ilmu..korek rahsia minah mamat sana sini..buka page tu tutup page ni..xde kerja..mcm xde kesudahan je post aku kali ni...xdak idea..apa bley buat..huh~

teringat aku pada satu kenyataan ni..theory will only be theory, if no practical steps applied..hehe..ayat aku sdrik..rough idea credit to my senpai..get the idea right..~

teori hanya akn jd kenyataan biler kita try to do it..terlalu byk teori yang kita belajar seharian..secara formal mahupun informal..even dinner kat meja makan generate many theories..ideas...

theory after theory..beransur hilang dek masa kalau ianya hanya membasahi bibir mahupun menghabiskan dakwat pen...toooOO many ideas...it will be in vain without common practice..useless as a piece of paper will go into dustbin without proper use...

apa aku mengarut ni..the idea for tonight is to make theories into actions...get the general idea right..then my work is done...huh..cam buat essemen pulak..

cakap pasal essemen..awal bulan lima dah nk kena bentang essemen utk sem ni..huhu..get ready with the paper dong..and presentation pp..essemen oo essemen..aku cukup xsuka essemen..ingat biler dtg sni biler senpai2 ckp mana ade menda alah essemen tu..don worinx..tp tup,,tup..thn kitorang dorang start new system..no oral but there will be assignment..ha..ambik ko..!..yippi..!tanda protess leh bersorak je la..nk pi buat bantahan kat student affair aku sorg je yg lebey2 yg lain nampak enjoy je..huhu..tp biler pikir2 balik..it's good we have assignment instead of oral..there is no more seram sejuk nak berdepan dengan lecturer kalo xtau jwpn..but still presenting my works is tougher than i thought..huh..better be prepared...! and what more..u gain holiday more than others...yuhhu..! 

it's time...

"adoi, pedihnya kata2 itu"

realiti selalunya pedih...kembali kepada realiti sebenar, aku seakan2 baru terjaga daripada tidur.. realiti yang begitu pedih mengimbau kembali ketidakmatangan aku, yang bergelar seorang mahasisiwa...

"dah 22 rupanya aku.."

satu kenyataan yang membuatkan aku tersentak..membuatkan aku sedar, umurku semakin meningkat, tapi aku masih di takuk yang lama...

"aku nak berubah, tapi aku perlukan masa.."

mindset yang tak membawa aku ke mana2...masih still di level yang dulu..beginner..birthday kali ni opened my eyes..opportunity xkn dtg kalau kita sendiri tak cari..dan kejayaan takkan datang bergolak tanpa usaha..

aku ingin berubah tapi at the same time, i refuse to accept the fact that changes have to be done step by step..not expected to be good at one push...no..no...changes have theirs own stages..that we must go through...

that kind of mindset will only lead to one answer..you'll never be able to change..may be you will..but the changes might not pleased you as it happen beyond your expectance...

as for me, i think that changes need its own plan to succeed..in order to make the first move, we must plan to change...not just wait till it happen by itself..don't always blame the time for our failure

"i need time..."

"i need more time to change..."

the time is already given to you, yet you still make no move..time is not the problem here..

"it is you!"

i always tend to think that changes need a lot of commitments and responsibilities..that i refused to accept and live with it...but in fact, i live lying to myself..

try to live in old style..giving excuses about being myself..

"be yourself, don't be someone else.."

"don't be hypocrite.."

"don't pretend to be her, be yourself...show your true self, don't act good, as you aren't that good"

sometimes it's good to pretend, to be hypocrite in order to change..an old friend used to say,

"it's okay to pretend, because at the end you gain your trust..trust upon yourself to be change for better..inshaallah.."

Kisah abid dan tuannya

emel daripada seorang sahabat..a good story..enjoy~

Suatu ketika Abid dan Tuannya sedang berada di atas perahu. Saat itu
Abid diperintahkan Tuannya untuk segera mengambil mutiara-mutiara
yang
ada di lautan di bawah perahu itu. Mendengar perintah tersebut, Abid
segera mengenakan pakaian menyelam, lengkap dengan tabung udara untuk
bernafas di dalam laut. Lalu ia melompat ke laut, dan byuur...
perlahan-lahan ia menyelam.

Ia sampai di kedalaman pertama... Perlahan-lahan lalu sampai pada
kedalaman kedua, ketiga, keempat, hingga akhirnya sampai ke dasar
lautan. Sampai di dasar laut, sungguh takjub si Abid melihat
pemandangan di sana. Belum pernah ia melihat pemandangan yang indah
seperti ini. Ada binatang menyala-nyala, tumbuhan yang unik, ikan
yang
langka, dan lain-lain. Betul-betul pemandangan yang luar biasa.
Semuanya semakin membuat Abid tertarik untuk melihat-lihat, sampai ia
lupa sama sekali akan perintah Tuannya untuk mengumpulkan mutiara.

Setelah sekian lama Abid menikmati suasana dasar lautan, akhirnya ia
teringat bahwa udara yang ada di tabung udaranya tinggal sedikit dan
belum satu pun mutiara yang ia kumpulkan.

Abid panik. Ia segera membuka satu per satu kerang yang berisi
mutiara. Gerakannya begitu tergesa-gesa, ia harus mengejar waktu agar
tidak kehabisan udara. Saking paniknya, ia mengumpulkan
mutiara-mutiara itu dalam genggaman dan mulutnya. Akhirnya, karena
sisa udara dalam tabung hampir habis, ia segera naik ke permukaan
dengan tergesa-gesa. Tapi karena tergesa-gesa, semua mutiara itu
jatuh
dari genggamannya, dan yang ada di mulutnya pun lepas semua. Si Abid
naik ke perahu dengan tangan kosong tanpa membawa mutiara satu pun.
Akhirnya Abid pun dimarahi habis-habisan oleh Tuannya.

***

Teman, keindahan dunia kadang kala membuat kita lupa akan tugas kita
di dunia sebagai hamba Allah. Dan kita tidak tahu kapan nafas kita
akan habis. Jangan sampai kita baru ingat tentang bertobat dan
beribadah kepada Allah, ketika napas kita sudah diujung tanduk
(menjelang hembusan napas terakhir). Bersegeralah untuk bertobat dan
beribadah sekarang juga...

tersentak aku baca kisah ni..seakan-akan realiti kehidupan hari ini..realiti aku hari ini..terlalu mengejar kehidupan dunia sampaikan terlupa matlamat sebenar hidup kat dunia ni..
"tapi benarkah aku sudah terjaga dari tidur ku??"